Creatures of the Night
by kingofkong1
Summary: Voldemort may have been defeated, but Hogwarts is still under threat from dark forgotten creatures. Only one person can save them - Mark Evans, Son of Squibs.
1. It Begins

Mark Evans Adventures in the Wizarding World Book One

Chapter 1

Mark Evans sat outside the Head Teacher's office with a bruise on his face. The moment he had called in he had come up with his story. He was minding his own business when suddenly out of nowhere some kid came and punched him. It wasn't his fault that he retaliated. And maybe the other guy was in the infirmary Mark was obviously the victim in this situation. As he thought, the door swung open and a teacher walked out.

"Come in," a deep male voice stated. Slowly, Mark got up and shuffled into the room. He sat down on the old chair in front of Mr. Hamill's large desk and kept quiet.

"Well you see-" Mark was cut off.

"I know what happened Mark," the old man sighed. He got up and brushed his brown blazer down. He walked to the other side of the room and opened a drawer. After looking through some files for a while, he pulled a rather fat looking one out and came to sit back.

Mark this is the third time this week you've been in a fight," Mr. Hamill said. "On Monday you nearly pushed some child off the third floor balcony for stepping on your bag after beating him so bad even his mother couldn't recognize him," Mr. Hamill began.

"In my defense, he didn't just step on my ba-"

"On Tuesday you knocked a boy out because he was looking at you in a way you didn't like," he continued.

"That was completely a mistake! I just wanted to –"

"And now I hear that you slammed some poor child's head into a wall!" Mr. Hamill exclaimed suddenly getting up.

"Bloody hell, if you would just listen to what I have to say-"

"I've had enough Mark, you're just lucky none of these people decided to press charges," Mr. Hamill sat down. "Thankfully, school ends in a few days and after that, you're no longer my problem. You can leave."

Mark got up with a look of anger on his face. He stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut nearly throwing it off its hinges. He let loose a barrage of words under his breath as he charged further and further away from the accursed office.

Mark walked home with his bag slung on his back. Compared to other 11 year olds, he was pretty mature looking. Standing at a strong 5''6 he towered over his peers. His face was in a permanent look of boredom with his bright blue eyes being emotionless. He moved his orange colored hair out of his face and continued the walk home. As he did, he began loosening his tie and un-tucking his shirt as he always does after school was over. Today though, he was doing it rather vigorously as he was angry. Not at his Head Teacher but at himself. He had promised his parents that he wouldn't get into any fights this week and look at him, three in four days. He just hoped with all his heart that his father's business trip would be extended and his mother would stay at work for longer so as to avoid getting in trouble. Sadly though, that did not happen.

"You promised!" his dad yelled the moment Mark stepped through the door. Mark stood there unfazed with a nonchalant look on his face.

"Look dad I-" Mark was cut off by a quick slap to the face, which surprised him.

"Shut up and go to your room Mark. No dinner for you tonight," his dad snapped. Mark glared at him angrily.

"**** off you ba****d!" he yelled. Mark threw his bag on the floor before tearing up the stairs towards his room. He slammed the door shut, which shook the entire house. Mark could be heard yelling in his room at the top of his lungs.

Later that night, Mark's parents were having a hushed conversation.

"Do you think he will be accepted?" his mother whispered.

"I honestly do not know," his father grumbled.

"That is a bit disturbing," his father remarked. They sat in silence for a bit.

"I hope he gets in," his mother said softly.

"As do I," his father murmured. "As do I…"

* * *

 **Aaaaaaand that's a wrap. For the record I'm counting this as my first story not '** _the other one'_ **. Yeah that's not funny. Anyways I'd like you to be a bit easy on me in the reviews. Seriously though, I've read what some people say and it's hurtful. I'm planning on making seven books in this series to cover the seven years at Hogwarts. There is always the possibility that I could forget about this story. Once the school year starts uploads will become really unfrequent.**


	2. Wizards are real Funny

**Okay, KOK here (just abbreviated my name) with the second chapter. For the record, in the future updates will not be this frequent. Hope you like it.**

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Chapter 2

Mark ran across the street to the other side. It was summer vacation and he was taking a jog in the park when he was suddenly called home. Mark honestly had no idea what had happened but when they had called his parents had seemed a bit rushed and flustered. Maybe his grandparents had come to visit. They always got worked up when they arrived. He remembered when he was five and his parents were acting strangely when they heard they arrived. Mark had only seen them for a bit before they had sent him to his room. He had overheard them say something along the lines of 'no-good squid' or something. He had heard a loud bang and when he went downstairs his grandparents were gone and his parents were sitting on the couch as if they had just dodged a bullet. Mark chuckled at the memory. About a minute later he arrived at his door. He swung it open.

"I'm home!" He yelled out. Mark looked around. His parents couldn't be seen anywhere.

"Hello? Anyone here?" he asked.

"SURPRISE!" his parents yelled as they jumped up from behind the couch. Mark fell backwards as his mother blew a kazoo.

"The Frey?" he exclaimed.

"Mark you got accepted!" his father bellowed.

"Into secondary school?" Mark queried. Mark's dad thought to himself for a second before moving completely away from the couch and walking up to Mark. Slowly, he put a hand on Mark's shoulder.

"Mark, there's something that your mother and I must tell you," he sighed. Mark looked confused. What were they talking about? Was there some deep dark family secret that had to do with him going to secondary school?

"You come from a long line of wizards," his father stated. Mark looked at him. He must not have heard that correctly.

"What's the secret?" Mark asked.

"You come from a long line of wizards," his father repeated. Mark looked at him as if he was joking but his dad looked about as serious as someone at a funeral.

"Seriously?" Mark asked. His parents nodded.

"Then do magic," Mark challenged.

"We can't."

"Aha!"

"We're squibs," his mum groaned.

"What?"

"Squibs are people born from people with magical abilities but have none of their own," his dad explained.

"Okay, if this is real, which it isn't, why didn't you tell me about it sooner?" Mark wondered.

"We didn't want to get your hopes up," his mum began. "Imagine if I told you that we were going to Lego Land but in the end we didn't go."

Mark understood what she meant. That didn't mean he believed them though.

"I still don't believe you but anyways, what did you call me home for in the first place?" he sighed. Mark's dad pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. He read the first few words: _HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY._

"This is stupid," Mark grumbled. He looked up to see stern looks on his parents' faces.

"Never say Hogwarts is fake," his dad spat. The look in his eyes made Mark shiver. Mark read the rest of the sheet. It was mainly just a couple of words he didn't completely understand. There was something about owls or something.

"So you guys are serious about this?" Mark asked disbelievingly. His parents had a conversation in a hushed tone before his father turned to him with a smile.

"You obviously don't believe us so we might as well show you,"

"I thought you said you couldn't do magic?" Mark stated confused.

"We can't. We're going to London," his mum answered. Mark could barely believe what he was hearing.

"We're going to London now? That would take hours!" Mark exclaimed. He found himself outside and sitting in the black Toyota that they drove everywhere. It was old and couldn't really go that fast.

"Something you should know before going to Hogwarts: things are not always as they seem," his father smiled. Suddenly, he stamped on the brake which Mark thought was stupid, until he heard the sound of the engine starting.

"What's going on?" Mark was able to say before his father released the brake and they zoomed off. Entire cities passed by as quickly as a tree would. The car was moving at the speed of sound. It stopped so suddenly that Mark would have been thrown out the windshield if not for the fact he was wearing a seatbelt. His parents just got out of the car as if nothing had happened. After a while, Mark gathered his senses and got out. He walked into the building with the sign saying ' _The Leaky Cauldron'._ Mark was too busy looking for his parents to pay attention to anything. He still noticed the strange attire that people were wearing. Mark spotted his mother walking out a door in the back of the building. Mark hurried and once he had entered the small open area, an incredible sight awaited him. The bricks in the wall were moving on their own, forming an archway that lead to a cobblestone road. Strangely shaped buildings lined the road and many people in long cloaks and robes were walking. Mark nearly fell over when he saw a man suddenly disappear, a woman turn a book into a plate and a child playing with an owl.

"Welcome to Diagon Alley!" his father exclaimed.

* * *

 **That wasn't necessarily a cliffhanger but whatever. Next chapter, Mark goes school shopping and you learn a bit more as to why he's the main character. KOK out.**


	3. School Shopping and Empty Wands

**KOK back with the third chapter. Also, still can't believe this story hasn't got _any_ reviews yet. **

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Chapter 3

Mark's mouth fell to the floor. He could no longer say that his parents were lying. This 'Diagon Alley' could not possibly be fake as everything was so intricately detailed.

"So… I'm a wizard?" Mark asked as he got out of his surprised state. "How come?"

"Don't ask me," his father shrugged. Mark watched him pull out the letter and read it.

"Okay so me and you mother are going to go to Gringotts to get some money while you get your wand from Ollivander's," Mark's dad stated.

"Wand?"

"Wizards use wands Mark, can't cast spells without them," Marks mother explained. Mark refrained from making a comment on how stupid that was and just let it go. His parent's took him to the front of an old looking building with the word 'Ollivander's' written in bold. Mark's parents ushered him inside and once he entered, he honestly wasn't amazed. To him it looked like a normal shop with rows and rows of shelves stacked with boxes.

"Anyone in here!" he yelled. Mark heard the sound of feet shuffling and a short man came out from behind one of the shelves. He was wearing a white dress shirt with a woolen red waistcoat. His hair was white and greased backwards, showing of his bright amber eyes. His nose was long and hooked and warts dotted his face like pimples on a teenager.

"How may I help you?" the man asked.

"My parent's said I should come here to get a 'wand'," Mark replied making air quotes when he said the word 'wand'. He still thought that the entire concept was stupid.

"Good, good," the man said. He turned around and walked back to the shelves. After a while, he came back with a box. He opened it and pulled out a long wooden stick.

"9 inch sycamore with a unicorn fur core. Thick and rigid. Give it a wave," he announced. Mark waved it half-heartedly and a large gust of wind erupted from the tip of the wand. Boxes flew from the shelves and onto the floor wands rolling everywhere. When it stopped, the old man stood amazed of what had happened. He snapped back into reality and realized that if he gave the child the wand then his magic would be too unstable. Quickly he grabbed the wand from the boy and placed it back in its box. Pulling out his own wand and giving it a wave, the room instantly returned to its previous state.

"That just won't do," the man huffed. After scouring for a few minutes he returned with another wand in hand.

"12 inch juniper with a griffin feather core. Thin and hard," the man stated. Mark flicked the wand much more subtly this time but that didn't do anything. The entire shop froze leaving only Mark and the man cold. After muttering something the entire room returned to normal. The man snatched the wand away from him quickly.

Mark sat on the floor bored out of his mind. The old man, whose name he had learned to be Mr. Comét, had made him try maybe a hundred different wands each being taken back by the Mr. Comét. The shop was trashed due to the last wand creating a tornado around him. He was expecting this to be quick and easy but the amount of time he had spent here made him feel angry.

"Hey old fag! We done or what? I'm ******* tired of waiting in this retarded shop," Mark yelled out. Mr. Comét could not believe the nerve of that boy. He had trashed his, well not really his, shop countless times without apologizing.

"If you're going to be like that, take this!" he snapped pulling out a wand with no core. Mark grabbed it and waved it expecting it to blow up like the 21st one. Instead, it let off a warm glow that generated a soft wind that somehow put all the boxes back in their place. Mr. Comét stood flabbergasted. Magic using a wand without a core should have been impossible or highly difficult yet here this child was doing it without any concern. Mark stared at the old man expectantly. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable from the way he was looking at him.

"So what core does this one have?" Mark asked. The man snapped out of his daze and smiled.

"10 inch pine. No core. Sturdy," he explained. "Now get out of my store before I hex you."

Mark walked out of the dark store and hissed when the bright outdoors burnt his eyes. Once they had adjusted to the light, Mark noticed his parents standing there with a large trunk at their side and a sack of coins in his father's hands.

"So, what type of wand is it?" His mother queried.

"10 inch pine. No core. Sturdy. Least that's what the old guy said," Mark replied. Mark's parents stormed into the store leaving a confused Mark outside.

"Mr. Comét, why does my son's wand have no core?" Mark's mother boomed. The old man looked up at the muggle looking woman and sighed.

"Mrs. Evans the boy's magic was incredibly unstable and it seemed a core, which helps boost ones magical abilities, would drive it over the edge making a catastrophe. At least that is what I have deduced," Mr. Comét stated. Mark's parents were amazed at what they had heard. Neither of them had much or possibly any magical power but it seemed that their son had so much it was difficult to control. Mark's father grinned and pulled a few coins from the bag and handed them to Mr. Comét.

"Thank for your explanation," he said with a small smile on his face.

"I gave the boy the equivalent of a stick, I don't need any money," Mr. Comét announced. Mark's parents nodded and quickly left the shop. Mark turned around when he heard the door of the shop swing open. His parents came out, grinning like madmen.

"What?" Mark asked them. His father looked down at him ruffling his hair. That annoyed Mark.

Afterwards, Mark got his school clothes but not without complaining for a long while about how the outfit was stupid. He then waited while his parents got his schoolbooks. Before they left though, Mark's parents took him to a pet shop.

"You may choose two pets but one of them must be an owl," his mother stated.

"Why an owl?" Mark enquired.

"Wizards use owls to send messages to one another Mark. Phones and magic don't mix," she explained. Mark was about to ask why when smoke started coming from inside the store. He walked inside and found a red lizard about the size of his palm, standing on the ground and staring dangerously at the shopkeeper. The lizard's tail stuck in the air engulfed in fire as smoke came out of its nose.

"Stay back!" the man yelled. "It's dangerous!"

Mark looked at the small lizard. It had large round eyes that made it look cute. It opened its mouth and he couldn't see any teeth.

"It doesn't look dangerous," Mark said bluntly. He slowly walked towards the lizard.

"No Stop!" the man screamed but it was too late. The creature opened its mouth and a torrent of fire came out covering Mark. His mother screamed, alerting nearby wizards of what was happening. When the fire stopped, Mark stood unscathed. He actually looked disappointed. He bent down and picked up the lizard. It squirmed around, trying to get free of the redhead's grip. Mark turned back towards the shopkeeper.

"Can I have him?" Mark asked. The shopkeeper was at a loss for words. In his life he had seen many crazy things but never had he seen something like this.

"S-sure. You can have him on the house," he replied regaining his composure. He quickly took the creature and placed him carefully in a magically reinforced cage.

"That'll be fifteen sickles please," the shopkeeper asked. Mark's father looked appalled.

"I thought you said it was on the house?" Mark asked.

"Fifteen sickles for the care equipment," he replied.

"Can I have a barn owl as well?" Mark continued.

"10 galleons," the shopkeeper said. Mark walked out of the small store and up to his parents.

"I need 10 galleons and fifteen sickles please," he told them. Mark's father slowly nodded and strolled into the store. A few minutes later, he came out with an owl in a cage and the box the lizard had been put into.

"Mark, it seems like that lizard was a salamander, a distant cousin to dragons," he said. Mark pretended to listen as he stared at the owl. It was large and looked to be the height from his foot to his knee. It had a majestic look to it and seemed to think of Mark as lower than himself. It turned its head away as it ruffled its feathers.

When Mark arrived back at his home, he realized that he was tired. He slugged back to his room and fell on his bed then immediately fell asleep.

* * *

 **Well that's it. Hope you liked it.**


	4. Taking Care of Trash

Chapter 4

Mark woke up with a warm feeling on his chest. He looked down and saw that his new salamander had gotten out of its box and was sleeping on his chest. Mark thought he looked pretty cute so he didn't move him.

"I'll call you…Lizard," he stated quietly. The newly sired Lizard began to stir and opened one of his eyes. It quickly jumped off Mark and unto the floor where it curled up again and fell back into sleep. Mark got out of bed and yawned. He walked to the bathroom and washed his face then went back to his room. His owl had also gotten out of his cage and was now screeching at Lizard. Mark grabbed his owl and shoved it back into its cage locking it once again. Lizard crawled to the other side of the room and fell asleep once again. Mark sighed and looked at his owl.

"Hooty shall be your name," Mark said with a triumphant look on his face. Looking back at the trunk in the corner of his room, Mark opened it and stared at the contents inside. Aside from the books and his uniform, there was a cauldron looking thing, small glass containers, a telescope and a set of scales. Mark ignored that and pulled out one of the books. The title was ' _The Standard Book of Spells_ (Grade 1) _by Miranda Goshawk'_. He opened it and skipped all the useless and unhelpful information and arrived at the first spell. It was a light spell called 'Lumos' and was apparently the easiest spell in the book to cast. Mark got his wand off his desk and was about to cast the spell when his mother burst through the door.

"Mark stop!" she yelled. Mark dropped the wand and looked at his mum annoyed.

"Why?" Mark asked.

"There is a mechanism in the wands that can tell if you are under the age where you can use magic freely," she explained. "If you are caught doing underage magic, you might be expelled."

Mark added that to his list of 'Stupid Things Wizards Do'. It was very long.

"Thanks for stopping me," he replied.

"Breakfast is ready," his dad called from the kitchen.

"Coming honey," Mark's mother yelled back. "Have a bath Mark."

Mark groaned and his other left the room.

An hour or so later, Mark was in the park riding his bike on the trail when four teenagers stepped into his way. Behind them was a boy of about Mark's age with plasters all over his face. Mark stopped his bike and got off. He walked right up to the teenagers and stared one of them in the eyes.

" **What?** " he growled. Mark's glare made them flinch.

"You Mark Evans?" one of them asked.

"That ain't your bloody business is it?" Mark replied.

"My brother Christopher 'ere says that you beat him up in school," the teenager asked again. Mark looked at Christopher for a second then back at his brother.

"Bugger off," he spat. The teenager threw a punch, which Mark easily avoided. In a swift motion, Mark kicked him in his tenders sending him to his knees. The three other boys stared in disbelief at their leader before charging Mark all at once. Mark sighed as he backed up to his bike. He threw it at them knocking them down before stamping on their manhood multiple times each. All four teenagers lay on the ground whimpering in pain. Mark looked up at the terrified Christopher.

" **BOO!"** he exclaimed. All the color drained from his face and he ran away screaming like a little girl.

"Wimp," Mark chuckled as he picked up his bike and rode away.

* * *

 **Sort of a filler chapter. Thank you Guests for the reviews. KOK.**


	5. Who Uses Trains Anymore?

**KOK back and I want to thank EddTheBeard and the two guests for the nice reviews. I'd like to see more *wink,wink*.**

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Chapter 5

The last day of summer came and Mark opened up all the notebooks he had made. He had read most of the interesting books and made much less complicated notes. Of course his mother had to explain most of it to him. Mark packed all his stuff into a trunk and brought it downstairs to the side of the door.

"Mark, dinner!" his mother called. Mark walked to the dining room table where his father was placing a large bowl of Shepherds Pie onto the table. Mark dug in and finished three plates of food.

"Mark, I have something for you," his father said. Mark watched as he pulled out a black box. He handed it to Mark who immediately opened it. Inside was an expensive looking black and gold watch with many strange symbols. It had both analog and digital times along with the date in numbers. Mark slipped it onto his hand and it immediately shrunk in size to fit around his wrist perfectly.

"It was your grandfather's," his dad began. "Gold and obsidian, 500 galleons, virtually indestructible and the most exact time of any watch. It's laced in hundreds of charms, spells and runes with multiple hidden features. It comes with an owner's manual just so you know."

Mark got up and hugged his dad, which was very unlike him.

"Thanks," he said. Mark let go and dropped his plate in the sink.

"Are you sure you've got everything?" Mark's mother asked.

"Yes!" Mark exclaimed. Mark quickly placed a book into his trunk and locked it shut. He dragged it outside and into the car. His father powered it up and in a few seconds, they were in London at a train station. They walked to platform nine and ten.

"Why are we here?" Mark asked. His father looked as if he was trying to remember something. Mark stood waiting. He looked around and spotted something weird. A girl, who looked maybe older than him, ran with her trunk towards the barrier between platforms 9 and 10. Mark watched as she disappeared through the barrier with her parents following behind her.

"Mum, Dad. Follow me," Mark announced. He pushed his trunk on its trolley towards the barrier. He stood in front of it and waited for a large crowd to form then he ran through the barrier. Mark stopped his trunk and looked around. He was standing on a platform with lots of other people. In front of him was a large red old timey train. Mark turned around just as his parents came through the wall.

"Incredible," his father muttered as he looked at the train.

"I'm leaving," Mark stated. His mother gave him a big hug. Mark scrambled out of it his face red in embarrassment.

"See ya," Mark called as he carried the large trunk onto the train. Mark looked around the train for a compartment. He found an empty one so he opened it and set down, putting his trunk away he took Lizard out from his pocket and sat down.

"Lizard, no breathing fire. We're on a train," Mark snapped. Lizard grinned. Just as the door opened, a torrent of fire shot out at Mark.

"AAAAAHHHH!" a boy yelled. He dropped his trunk on the ground and fell down. A couple of elder students came by and they also stepped back. The fire stopped and Mark sat annoyed.

"Do any of you know water spells?" he asked pointing at the small flames on the seat. One of the elder girls cleared her throat and raised her wand.

" _Aguamenti_ ," she announced waving her wand. Water shot from the tip of her wand, putting out the fire and drenching Mark in the process.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed. Mark shook his head vigorously then smiled.

"Whatever," he replied.

"WHAT THE FLIP WAS THAT!?" the boy exclaimed. He put his Trunk away and sat opposite Mark. He had cropped brown hair and blue eyes. He was a bit chubby with a large nose.

"My pet is a Magic Salamander that breathes fire which I am somehow resistant to it," Mark explained.

"You didn't use magic?" the boy asked confused. Mark shrugged.

"Don't think so," Mark replied.

"That's cool," the boy said.

"I'm Mark by the way," Mark spoke up.

"Salman, Geoffrey Salman," he said shaking Mark's hand. "Half-blood. That cat on your head's called Tom."

Mark looked up and noticed the large black cat sitting on his head. He picked Tom up and put him on the floor.

"What's a half-blood?" Mark asked.

"A child of a muggle and a wizard," Geoffrey explained. "My mum's a muggle."

"I guess that I'm sort of a Muggleborn," Mark stated.

"What do you mean 'sort of'?" Geoffrey asked.

"My parents are-what's the word again-squibs," Mark said.

"Sorry?" Geoffrey replied unsure of what to say.

"What?"

The compartment door opened and a short skinny boy walked in with a snowy owl in a cage. The boy looked them over with his calculating amber eyes then smoothened his already greased back black hair and grinned.

"Samuel Heart. Pleasure to make your acquaintance," he said excitedly. He shook their hands vigorously and smiled even wider.

"I'm Mark and that's Geoffrey," Mark told him.

"So Mark, what house are you hoping to be sorted into? I myself would like to be in Slytherin," Samuel chattered as he sat down.

"Really? My father told me that all Slytherins are dark wizards," Geoffrey butted in.

"Well your father better get his facts straight," Samuel snapped as he narrowed his eyes. Geoffrey glared back at him.

"Can we do magic on the train?" Mark spoke up.

"Don't see why not," Geoffrey answered.

"Good. I wanted to practice some magic," Mark sighed taking out his notebook.

"What about your wand?" Samuel queried when he didn't notice it.

"That stick? Don't need it," Mark replied.

"Course you do. Only great wizards don't need wands. Like Merlin or Dumbledore," Samuel shot back.

"You're making it sound like it's the wands that are magic," Mark replied as he clenched his fists.

"Wands _are_ magic since they help us release our true power," Samuel argued.

"Makes wizards sound like a bunch o' weak p****ies," Mark snapped getting angry.

"Well then…I bet you twenty sickles that you can't do wand less magic," Samuel challenged feeling smug.

"Challenge accepted!" Mark exclaimed raising his hand. " _Lumos!_ "

Mark moved his hand around then a large bright light erupted from the tip of his index finger. Geoffrey and Samuel shielded their eyes from the light, as did the elder students passing by. When Samuel got out of his shock and noticed said students, he slammed the compartment door shut.

"You owe me twenty sickles," Mark announced with a smile. He shook his hand and the light disappeared.

"Mark that was bloody brilliant!" Geoffrey exclaimed. Samuel sighed and smoothed back his hair.

"Good show Mark. Now, you have to promise me you won't tell anyone that you can do that. People may try to take advantage of you," Samuel explained.

Mark thought it over for a bit.

"Sure," he replied. The train then began to move and Samuel thought to himself of what he could do with Mark in the future.

* * *

 **Next chapter Mark arrives at Hogwarts. For the record, this story takes place in 2017. KOK.**


	6. The Sorting Hat

Chapter 6

The rest of the train ride is relatively uneventful. The train finally stopped and they all got out. Mark had wondered where his trunk was but Samuel told him not to worry about it.

"Firs' years over 'ere. Come 'ere firs' years!" A loud voice boomed. Mark walked towards the direction of the voice and saw a giant man with more facial hair than Santa Clause.

"You a first year?" the tall man asked. Mark nodded.

"Name's Rubeus Hagrid but everyone calls me Hagrid. Come on, into the boats with you."

Mark looked past Hagrid and found a lot of boats. He sat in one with two identical girls. The only difference was their hairstyle. Mark sat in front of them silently and listened to them talk about all sorts of rubbish. Mark felt incredibly stupid in his uniform as well. He just stuffed his head in his legs and waited till they were in the school.

"Alright, everyone out!" Mark heard Hagrid bellow. He got up and out of the boat. The first years walked into the castle where a short man stood waiting. The man had a bushy white beard and a pointed hat atop his head. He wore long (or short if you think about it) expensive looking green robes and had a large smile on his face.

"Greetings children. I am Professor Filius Flitwick, charms master and dueling champion. Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The best magic school in Europe!" the man exclaimed.

"What about Beauxbatons!?" someone yelled out. There was a round of chuckles before the Professor raised his wand.

"Very funny," he growled. "Now children, all jokes aside, you will now be taken to the Great Hall where you will be sorted into the four houses of Hogwarts: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. Now, if you will follow me…"

Professor Flitwick began to walk down the corridor with the first years behind him. He stopped at two large doors and Hagrid walked up. Hagrid opened the doors and the first years filed in. The Great Hall was enormous and lit by thousands of candles floating in midair. The ceiling resembled the night sky with stars dotting it. There were four long tables where the elder students were sitting. In front of them was another long table where the teachers sat. One of them was standing. She wore emerald green robes and had a very stern looking face.

"And now, the sorting ceremony shall begin," the woman announced. The first years lined up in front of the teachers. The old lady waved her wand in the air and an old looking hat floated in on a four-legged stool. It landed on the floor in front of the first years. One of the stitches on the hat came undone creating a sort of makeshift mouth. The hat then cleared its throat frightening some of the new students.

 _"I've done this job for centuries_  
 _on every student's head I've sat_  
 _of thoughts I take inventories_  
 _for I'm the famous Sorting Hat._

 _I've sorted high, I've sorted low,_  
 _I've done the job through thick and thin_  
 _So put me on and you will know_  
 _Which house you should be in._

 _You might belong in Gryffindor,_  
 _Where dwell the brave at heart,_  
 _Their daring, nerve, and chivalry_  
 _Set Gryffindors apart;_

 _You might belong in Hufflepuff,_  
 _Where they are just and loyal,_  
 _Those patient Hufflepuffs are true_  
 _And unafraid of toil;_

 _Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_  
 _if you've a ready mind,_  
 _Where those of wit and learning,_  
 _Will always find their kind;_

 _Or perhaps in Slytherin_  
 _You'll make your real friends,_  
 _Those cunning folks use any means_  
 _To achieve their ends._

 _So put me on! Don't be afraid!_  
 _And don't get in a flap!_  
 _You're in safe hands (though I have none)_  
 _For I'm a Thinking Cap!_ "

The hall erupted into an enormous round of applause

The old witch took a piece of paper from the teacher's table.

"Jeffery Andrews, please step up," she announced. One of the first years stood up.

"Please take a seat," she continued. She picked up the old hat and as Jeffery sat down, she placed it gently onto his head.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the hat exclaimed immediately. It went on like that until the lady called his name. Mark walked up to the stool and sat down. The hat dropped onto his head blocking his view.

 _'Now let's see here. Hmmm… Your Magic power is impressive no doubt. You have a lot of talent but little to no skill. Ravenclaw is out then. What about Hufflepuff? No, from what I can see you are not a loyal person. Slytherin was out from the start. So I guess…Gryffindor? If there was another house that was fitting for a traditionally unintelligent and easily angered person like you I would place you there but there isn't so I'll place you in Gryffindor.'_

 _'F****** wanker,'_ Mark thought to himself.

' _I heard that,'_ the hat replied. "GRYFFINDOR!"

Mark got up and walked towards the Gryffindor table and sat down with the few other first years. Names were called and houses were chosen until the final person, Mildrew Zanze, got sorted into Ravenclaw.

"Now that the first years have been sorted into their respective houses, Professor Hagrid would like to say something to all students taking his class this year…" the lady continued.

Hagrid then went on to spout some impossible to understand nonsense about dragons or something before finally finishing.

"Now for the school song," the woman who Mark had made out to be the Headmistress said. All the students rose with grins on their faces.

 _"_ _Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,_

 _Teach us something please,_

 _Whether we be old and bald_

 _Or young with scabby knees,_

 _Our heads could do with filling_

 _With some interesting stuff,_

 _For now they're bare and full of air,_

 _Dead flies and bits of fluff,_

 _So teach us things worth knowing,_

 _Bring back what we've forgot,_

 _Just do your best, we'll do the rest,_

 _And learn until our brains all rot."_

Everyone ended at different times since they were singing the same song but in completely different ways. Mark honestly thought that that was the best thing he'd seen in the magical world aside from magic of course. After the song was over, the headmistress sent them to their common rooms. The Prefects led them up a long flight of stairs that ended at the portrait of a fat lady.

"What's the password?" she asks surprising Mark immensely.

"Listen closely," one of the prefects said. "Slytherin sucks."

"Alright, go on in." The portrait swung to the side allowing them to go into the common room. They climb up a few short steps and enter a large room lit by lanterns hung on the walls. A dark red carpet covered the entire floor and multiple chairs tables and sofas/couches were scattered around the room. Mark could see about five to six doorways in the stone walls. There were paintings of battles on the walls and shelves lined with books and a couple of strange looking balls and brooms. There was also a large fireplace with a coat of arms with the image of a golden lion above it.

"Okay boys follow me and girls follow Patricia," the head boy stated. The boys followed him through one of the doors and into a small room where there were eight doors with seven of them numbered and one with a crown.

"First years into number one. You will immediately be sent to your dorm when you touch the door handle," the head boy Christophe said. The students then went to their respective rooms. Mark felt unbalanced when he entered his room and nearly threw up. The other people in his room had entered already and chosen beds so he just quickly found his and went to sleep.

* * *

 **So Mark's arrived at Hogwarts which means that the actual plot is going to begin soon. KOK.**


	7. First Day of School

Chapter 7

Mark's eyes snapped open and he sat up. He turned to the side and saw Lizard taking in a deep breath.

"Wait no!" he yelled. He dove out of his bed and landed in front of Lizard. He put his hand around his mouth as he breathed fire.

"You're not supposed to have anything other than a toad, a cat or an owl," a boy said.

"Ummm… he is a toad," Mark replied.

"He burnt the curtains," the boy replied with a raised eyebrow.

"He's a magic toad," Mark said with a wobbly smile.

"I know what a Salamander is," the boy sighed. Mark grinned and stood up.

"Mark Evans," Mark said extending his free hand.

"Lester Cronley," the boy returned. "You should find a way to hide it."

"Him," Mark corrected. Mark thought it over.

"I read somewhere that you can cast magic by rhyming," Lester spoke up.

"I'll try it," Mark shrugged. He brought his wand out from under his pillow and pointed it at Lizard.

" _With the magic that I hold, I turn my pet into a toad!"_ he chanted. A bright light erupted from the wand and in Lizard's place was a red toad.

"Woah," Lester said surprised. "I didn't expect that to work."

"Then why'd you tell me to do it?" Mark snapped. Lester shrugged and looked at Mark's watch.

"Does that watch work?" Lester asked.

"Yeah why?" Mark questioned.

"What time is it?"

"Twenty minutes to eight," Mark told him.

"You better get ready for breakfast," Lester suggested.

"I'm already in my uniform," Mark shot back.

"Yeah but you smell," Lester said waving his hand in front of his nose for added effect.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"That door over there."

Mark got up and walked towards the bathroom leaving Lester alone with a confused Lizard.

* * *

"Apparently, your pet can still breathe fire," Lester grumbled as he walked with Mark towards the great hall.

"You shouldn't have touched him," Mark laughed.

"Bugger off!" Lester snapped at him. They walked through the open doors and were immediately handed two sheets of paper each by Hagrid.

"Your schedules," he stated. They made their way towards the Gryffindor table and sat down with some other First years. Lizard jumped off Mark's head and onto the table.

"Your toad is disgusting," a female voice said. Mark looked up from stuffing his face with pancakes to see a blonde girl with long straight hair looking at him with annoyance. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

"He's a toad," Mark replied. "They're supposed to be disgusting."

"Take him off the table. Some of us are trying to eat," the girl said again. Mark looked around.

"There's a cat on the Slytherin table," Mark told her.

"Cat's are majestic," the girl replied. "Unlike toads."

Mark didn't respond and continued eating his food. The girl was surprised as she was expecting a comeback.

"I'm Jenna by the way," she said.

"Why should I care?" Mark responded. Jenna growled at him.

"Because I-"

"What's your problem?" Lester asked cutting her off. "You sound like a Slytherin."

"That's housist," Mark said with a smile. Lester looked at him forgetting about Jenna.

"'Housist'?" he asked.

"You know like sexist or racist but with houses," Mark explained. "I guess that that statement was more of a-" he paused to think of something. "A housual stereotype!"

"I believe that I can do this without it being weird," Lester said. He smacked Mark on the back of his head.

"What the f*** was that for?" Mark growled.

"You're an idiot," Lester sighed.

"For that, I'll be an idiot for the rest of my time at this school," Mark grinned.

"That's only bad for you," Lester grumbled.

Jenna just sat watching their conversation. They seemed to have honestly forgotten that she was there. Mark and Lester continued arguing and hitting each other until the Headmistress stood up and cleared her throat loudly.

"Good morning children," she began. "I would like to again welcome the first years to Hogwarts." A round of applause. "Now, Professor Hagrid has handed you all your schedules for this school year along with a list of extra-curricular activities or 'clubs' as they are more commonly called. You may sign up for any number of activities as long as the times work. I will now like to announce the Head Boy and Girl." She paused for dramatic effect. "Would Mr. Charles Vontsal and Ms. Elenna Erinson please-"

A round of applause cut her off. The two seventh years got up from where they were sitting and stood next to the Headmistress. She handed them both a pin and when they put them on, the other students clapped for them again.

"I hope I become Head Boy," Lester sighed. Mark snorted and brought a pen out of his bag.

"You know that you're supposed to use a- oh whatever," Lester grumbled.

"Is dueling anything like fighting?" Mark asked.

"With a ton of rules and magic," Lester explained looking his list over.

"I'll sign up for it," Mark stated ticking it. "You do it too."

"What? No!" Lester snapped. "Go make some other friends."

"So we're friends now?" Mark said with a smirk.

"I'll sign up if you never speak of that again," Lester mumbled. Mark laughed and patted Lester's back, which earned him a knock on the head.

"What about art?" Mark questioned. Lester looked at him and laughed.

"We've known each other for fifty minutes and I can tell that you wouldn't be good at art," he chuckled. "Wait. Fifty minutes? S*** we're gonna be late!"

The both of them got up and dashed out of the Great Hall.

* * *

Lester and Mark arrived at the door before the lesson started. Professor Flitwick wasn't in there so they were safe.

"Good morning class," Professor Flitwick said as he came up from under his tall desk. He climbed up onto a stack of books.

"Please be seated," he looked at Mark and Lester. " ** _All_** of you."

Mark and Lester ran to the back of the room and sat down next to each other.

"I will now call attendance. Frederick Bront…" Professor Flitwick began.

"Hey why are those blue guys here?" Mark whispered to Lester.

"You mean the Ravenclaws?" Lester replied. "To save time and space, all classes are done with the students of two houses."

"Why not just hire more teachers?" Mark asked.

"Don't ask me. I'm an eleven year old with next to no prior knowledge of how this school works," Lester said.

"No need to get b***** about it," Mark mumbled.

"Mark…Evans," Professor Flitwick announced looking up.

"Hello," Mark grumbled.

"Mr. Evans, do you perhaps have any relation whatsoever to, Lily Evans?" he asked.

"Who?" Mark asked. He jerked backwards when nearly everyone in the classroom stared at him.

"Ah sorry for asking then," the Professor sighed. Mark saw Jenna chuckling with one of her friends.

"That was a dumb question," Lester whispered. "Everyone one, except apparently you, knows that Lily Potter's only living relative is the great Harry Potter."

"I know him!" Mark quietly exclaimed. "He's the lightning bolt guy."

"Your intense lack of common knowledge frightens me," Lester groaned. "Didn't your parents teach you anything?"

"Actually no," Mark snapped. "My parents didn't teach me anything about wizards. I only learnt about magic during summer when the letter came."

"Summer… HA! I'm older than you!" Lester smiled.

"Huh?" Mark asked confused.

"The letter of acceptance is usually sent on your birthday and if you got yours in summer that means…"

"I'm twelve retard," Mark growled.

"F*** you!" Lester exclaimed under his breath. Professor Flitwick finally finished calling attendance and walked in front of his desk.

"What are charms?" he asked. "Yes Ms. Lezman."

"A charm is a spell that adds certain properties to an object or creature," Jenna stated.

"Excellent but a textbook explanation," Flitwick said. "A charm is a…"

Mark stared at the small Professor. He couldn't take him seriously because of his size. Through out the lesson all he could think about were jokes about his height.

"Now class, you shall attempt to do the charm, _Wingardium Leviosa_ ," Professor Flitwick announced.

"What?"

"We're in charms class Mark," Lester said slowly.

"Your jokes are a load of tosh you know," Mark growled.

"I'm a very funny person," Lester smiled. White feathers landed on the table in front of them.

"Now class, please perform the charm we just practiced. Don't worry if you don't get it," Flitwick said.

"Aaaww s***snacks," they both said in unison.

* * *

"I'm better, than you! I'm better, than you!" Mark sang as he danced around Lester as they left charms.

"Stop that!" Lester exclaimed. Mark stopped and walked next to him before smiling.

"I'm better, than-" Lester slapped the back of his head.

"You're so immature," Lester said.

"I'm a twelve year old boy," Mark said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Shut up," Lester groaned. "Anyways, how did you do it on the first try but not me?"

"I'm just excellent like that," Mark replied with a smile. Lester rolled his eyes.

"We've got a free period. Do you want to go to the library and do the Charms homework?"

Mark laughed.

"Retard," Lester growled

Mark and Lester walked into the Defense Against the Dark Arts room and found all the other students already inside.

"Where's the teacher?" Lester asked one of the Gryffindor boys.

"He's sleeping at his desk," the boy said. They turned their heads and looked at the sleeping form of their Professor.

"Hey Mark," Lester said as they sat down next to each other. "Why don't you levitate something over his head?"

Mark thought about. It was a good idea but not spontaneous enough.

"I have a better idea," Mark states with a sly look.

"You only know one spell," Lester told him.

"Actually I also know Lumos and Nox," Mark states. "And there's this one spell I saw one of the older students use."

"Mark don't," Lester warned. "You don't know the proper wand movement or incantation. You could mess it up and hurt me."

"You are such a humble person," Mark sighed sarcastically. "Anyways I think I remember it now." He waved his wand around. " _Aquamendi!_ "

Mark's wand blew up scattering pieces everywhere. It made a loud noise, which drew all the student's attention to him.

"At least you woke the teacher up," Lester snickered. Mark glared at him.

"Who did that?" a deep voice asked. From his desk, the Professor stood up. His dark hair covered his eyes forcing him to move them aside. He towered over the other students looking about 6 feet tall. He stared directly at Mark.

"Who's asking?" Mark snapped. Lester looked at him as if he was crazy.

"Professor Canallope," he said. Professor Canallope began to walk closer.

"So you're our teacher?" Mark said standing up.

"Yes," he replied standing right in front of him. They stared at each other.

"Shall I fix your wand?" he asked.

"Your choice, _Professor,_ " Mark growled. Canallope brought his wand out from its holster and waved it. All the pieces came to the table then he waved his wand again and the wand was fixed.

"You're welcome," he said. Professor Canallope turned around and walked back to his desk. Mark sat down.

"The Dark Arts," he began. "Are in one word, dangerous. You are here to learn how to protect yourselves from hexes, jinxes and the monsters that fill the world. This _will_ be your hardest and most difficult class and I doubt any of you will like me. Just know that I do not like any of you. Now take out your quills and write what I say."

Professor Canallope began talking about the Curse of the Bogies. The students began to copy down all he said. Mark used a pen because he believed quills were stupid. The Professor finally stopped talking and Mark shook his hand.

"If all his classes are like this I'm going to need to buy more bloody parchments," Lester growled. As they packed up, Mark looked at his textbook. He opened it. He found the section he was looking for then looked at the information under the Curse of the Bogies. Mark read it then realized something. It was almost the exact same thing that his teacher had just made them write down.

"Hey Lester-"

"Let's go Mark! If we're late to lunch we may have to sit near Jenna," Lester exclaimed. Mark put his book back into his bag then he and Lester left the class.

* * *

 **KOK.**


	8. Potions Class Numero 1

Chapter 8

"Magical politics?!" Mark asked holding back a laugh.

"To us it's just politics," Lester sighed. Mark let go and started laughing very loudly.

"Nerd!"

"You chose art," Lester stated. Mark stopped laughing.

"You wouldn't…"

"I wouldn't," Lester began. "Because you've got no friends other than me."

"I've got friends!" Mark argued. "Like uh… Je- no. Ummm…"

"Loser," Lester chuckled.

"Like you've got any," Mark grumbled.

"Lester!" a voice yelled. "Didn't know you were coming to Hogwarts!"

"Hey Luke," Lester replied. "I'll talk to you later."

Lester looked at Mark and grinned.

"Fifth year," he said smugly.

"Git," Mark grumbled. They walked through the corridors and down to the dungeons.

"We're early," Lester said with a smirk.

"It's half past one," Mark told him. "S***!"

They dashed towards the door and swung it open to find the Professor mid speech.

"Sorry we're late…Professor…" Mark said. He looked at the Professor. She looked to be in her mid twenties, much younger than all the other teachers. She didn't look British but had the complexion of someone who had lived in Spain. Her black hair reached just above her bum and her face made Mark move his bag in front of him.

"That's two points off Gryffindor," she sighed. "Back of the class both of you."

Mark sat down with a goofy smile on his face.

"You're not even fazed by what she said?" Lester whispered.

"What?"

"She just spent the last five minutes chewing us out!"

"She did?" Mark asked. Lester was about to say something then he looked down.

"What's that?" he tried to poke it but Mark stopped him.

"You don't want to know," he said.

The Professor continued talking about the Cure for Boils, which she wrote the instructions to brewing on the board. Lester vigorously copied it down but Mark was more focused on staring at the teacher.

"MARK!" Lester exclaimed. Mark looked at Lester.

"What?" Mark snapped.

"We need to brew the Cure for Boils," Lester explained. Mark slammed his head onto the table. That was the second time that day he hadn't paid attention to what his teacher was saying. Lester went to get the ingredients.

"Okay the instructions are on the board so…" Mark suddenly got up from his seat and went to the cauldron. He crushed the snake fangs and put them in the cauldron. He continued to add ingredients and stir. He then waved his wand and sat down.

"What the… Are you done?" Lester asked unsure. Mark sat looking forward with an emotionless look on his face. After a while he got up and began putting other things into the cauldron. Finally, he took the cauldron off the fire, put porcupine quills into it, stirred the concoction five times and waved his wand over it. He held out his hand and pointed at one of the empty vials. Lester quickly handed him a vial. Mark filled the vial, covered it then placed it on the table.

"Hey Mark!" Lester exclaimed.

"What?!" Mark yelled back.

"Are you done now?"

"'Course not! We haven't even started yet!"

"What are you saying? You just finished!"

"Huh? I was thinking about lunch before you SCREAMED in my F****** ear!" Mark shouted.

"What do we have here?" the Professor asked picking up the vial. She waved her wand and a boil-covered rat in a cage hovered over and landed on the table. She opened the vial and poured it in the rat's mouth. The boils quickly shrunk and completely disappeared.

"Impressive," the Professor said. "Three points to Gryffindor."

Lester punched his fist into the air and raised his hand into the air.

"Good job mate," Lester smiled.

"I have no bloody idea what the f*** what you're talking abou- Jeffery don't put anything in yet."

Jeffery paused and dropped the horned slugs to the floor.

"Thanks," he called.

"Why?" Mark asked.

"For helping me with the potion," Jeffrey explained. Mark looked from Lester to Jeffrey.

"You're both crazy," he said. "I didn't make a potion and I didn't help that guy with his."

"Okay sure," Lester said. "I'll clean up."

Mark sat down and grumbled to himself while Lester began cleaning up. 'Maybe Mark's telling the truth and _he_ didn't make the potion,' Lester thought.


	9. Getting in the Middle of Conflict

Chapter 9

The next morning, Mark slept sprawled out in his bed with Lizard on his chest. His mouth was wide open and he was drooling. Lester and two other boys stood looking at him. They all had looks of disgust and astonishment on their faces. Not because Mark was still asleep at seven fifty, but because he was stark naked with the covers sprawled on the floor.

"I swear he was dressed when he went to sleep," Lester mumbled.

"This is bloody creepy!" the shaggy brown haired boy exclaimed.

"That isn't the creepy part about this situation Miller," the other boy whispered. They followed his eyes which rested on the lower part of Mark's body.

"That's crazy," Miller said.

"I didn't even know it could get that huge!" Lester gasped

"Creepy," the other boy mumbled. "Hey Miller, I dare you to touch it!"

Miller looked at the tall blonde haired boy in disbelief.

"Why don't you do it Harry," he challenged.

"'Cause I'm older," Harry replied with a lopsided grin.

"What does that have to do with anything!" Miller argued.

"Oh just do it you goblin wanker," Lester groaned pushing him forward.

"Bloody good friends you f****** are," Miller mumbled. He moved his hand downwards as slowly as possible. Just before he reached the skin, his hand was caught in a tight grip.

" **Don't** ," Mark's voice said. Miller turned to look at his head. His mouth was still wide open and his eyes were closed.

"Did he…" Lester and Harry shook their heads, their eyes as large as soup bowls. Miller felt his hand be released so he and his companions ran out of the room as fast as wizardly possible.

* * *

Mark yawned as he walked down the stairs. Lester had literally pulled him out of bed.

"Hey, what were those two guys so freaked out about?" Mark asked.

"You mean Harry Blanzer and Miller Cronning? Nothing important," Lester replied quickly.

"I didn't ask for their names did I?" Mark sighed. They arrived at the bottom of the stairs then walked towards the Great Hall. Before they arrived though, they saw two girls arguing. One of them was Jenna but the other was someone Mark didn't. From her uniform he could see that she was Slytherin. She looked older than him, possibly a third year. She had long curly brown hair with blonde streaks scattered around. She had piercing grey eyes and a slender nose. Well, Mark's actual first thought when he saw her was 'HOOOOOOOT!'

"What's this about?" Lester asked a Ravenclaw boy who was watching.

"Well the Gryffindor says that the Slytherin bumped into her, but the foxy mama- I mean Slytherin says that it was the other way round," He explained. Lester was confused as to how something as simple as that could turn into such a massive blowout. He looked at Mark who was blushing with his bag over his trousers. He looked like he wasn't on planet earth so Lester decided to bring him back.

"OOOOWWWW!" Mark exclaimed loudly. He rubbed his cheek where Lester had just slapped him.

"Go fix it," Lester said.

"Da f***?"

Lester pushed Mark into the middle of the circle. He was surprised that a teacher hadn't come to settle this. He walked into the middle of the two shouting girls and put his hands over their mouths. Their eyes darted up to him, filled with rage.

"Um…stop?" Both girls raised their legs aiming for his precious place but he moved backwards.

"What was that for!?" Mark screamed.

"Why'd you put your hand on my mouth!?" Jenna screamed back.

"You both were being annoying," he replied. Mark stepped in between them once more.

"Who are you?" the Slytherin asked.

"Mark," he replied.

"Then get out before I hex you," she said raising her wand.

"Wha- this wasn't even my fault! My friend pushed me here because you two were fighting over s***!" he snapped. "You should both just f****** stop so that I can leave."

"No one's stopping you," the Slytherin stated.

"Yeah," Jenna spoke up.

"Then bye," Mark sighed. He began walking away before stopping. He turned around and used a Wingardium Leviosa on all Jenna's books, causing them to float up. Mark then squeezed through the crowd and out the other side where Lester was standing with a grin on his face.

"Why? Just…why?" Mark sighed.

"It's something I'm going to be doing from now on," he explained. "You're a very interesting person so I'm going to put you in different social scenarios to see how you handle them."

"That's the most unnecessary and idiotic thing I have ever heard and most likely ever will hear," Mark said. Lester just laughed which made him even angrier.

* * *

"So what you're saying is, you made Mr. Comét so angry by being a retard and messing up his store countless times, that he gave you a wand with no core?" Lester asked. Mark nodded since there was food in his mouth.

"Then somehow, for no plausible reason, that wand was perfect for you?" he continued. Mark nodded.

"Doesn't make sense," Miller grumbled as he speared his pancake and put it in his mouth.

"You guys eat like animals," Harry snapped. He cut his pancake into separate pieces and put each into his mouth and chewed slowly.

"That's so gay," Mark said. Lester smacked him upside the head.

"How in Merlin's name is that gay?" Lester growled. "That's not even stereotypical, that's just plain stupid!"

"Jeez, what's your problem?" Mark growled at Lester rubbing the back of his head.

"Maybe Lester's gay," Miller proposed. They all looked at him.

"Whatever," he mumbled into his food.

"Let's not talk about such controversial topics you know, nobody ever likes that," Lester proposed.

"Wizards have gay people?" Mark asked surprised. Lester growled. He grabbed Mark's collar.

"Fade to black," he said.

* * *

Mark and Lester were walking around school, as it was a Saturday. They walked aimlessly, talking about the most random of topics.

"So you're saying, that muggles have these things that you watch which are basically just moving drawings that can speak," Lester repeated.

"Yeah. They're called cartoons," Mark explained.

"How do you make that without magic?" Lester asked.

"I don't know! I just-" Mark immediately stopped talking. His expression turned nonchalant and he walked in the opposite direction of where they were going.

"Mark," Lester said but Mark did not reply. "Not this again…"

Lester sighed as he followed Mark through the many corridors of the school until they arrived at a particularly long hallway with a door at the end. Mark began to walk towards said door but Lester grabbed his collar.

"Just stop, it's one of Hogwarts' 'famous' trick doors," Lester stated. Mark didn't reply and continued along, dragging Lester who was still holding his collar. Lester let go and walked next to him waiting for the strange redhead to come back to his senses. Mark stopped in front of the door and slowly raised his hands. Lester rolled his eyes and tugged at the golden doorknob of the bright red door. He attempted to turn it but nothing happened.

"See?"

Mark kept raising his hand and as he grabbed the doorknob there was a click as the door swung open.

"By Merlin's beard…" Lester whispered.

* * *

 **Pretty much just a filler chapter. KOK.**


	10. Of Greenhouses and Cousins

Chapter 10

"By Merlin's beard…" Lester whispered. He looked into the room and his eyes opened as wide as a plate. It was a large room resembling a greenhouse. Tall shelves of books lined the walls with tables and chairs scattered across the ground. Chests and boxes filled the room and Lester could make out a number of door handles protruding from the white, marble floor. In the far end of the room was a pool of purple water that was being poured into by a stylish hole in the wall. On the only parts of the walls not covered by bookshelves, paintings of people with red hair resembling that of Mark's wearing medieval robes with large smiles plastered on their faces. Light shone through the skylight, illuminating the mysterious room. Lester assumed that it was under a charm that made it bigger which was why a room like this could exist. Mark stepped through the doorway and stood next to Lester. He blinked and his face contorted into an expression of confusion.

"The literal go**amn f***?" Mark exclaimed. Suddenly, a scroll flew off one of the shelves and hit him on the face. He growled as it opened revealing a message.

" _To the next one who comes into this room,_ " Mark read aloud. " _Be it my children or my grandchildren, I have a warning. The contents of this room are meant only for those of close relation to you, those that you trust will not release the location of The Greenhouse for this place holds the knowledge of generations of great wizards. Secrets the Ministry will never learn of. Stories the people will never hear. It is your job, no, your duty to protect them. Once you enter this, your life_ will _change whether you want it to or not. You must protect this school from the monsters of the world, putting your life on the line but earning no reward. I trust, that if you are truly of my blood, you will take up this righteous cause and take your mantle as the newest Secreter. Your life awaits you. L. Evans."_

"Well that's weird," Lester spoke up.

"What's a 'Secreter' anyways?" Mark asked.

"Apparently someone who protects Hogwarts with no recognition," Lester explained. "What could Hogwarts possibly need protecting from? The only thing I can think of is if another Voldermort appears."

"I thought that name was taboo."

"Cronleys don't believe in that taboo," Lester replied proudly. "My parents fought in the Battle of Hogwarts."

"Yeah, because I know what that is," Mark grumbled. The scroll burnt into flames until only ash was left.

"Hey, what was that name at the bottom of the message?" Lester said to Mark.

"L. Evans, why?" Mark told him.

"No reason," Lester said back. He walked over to one of the shelves and looked the books over while Mark opened one of the chests.

"F***! It's a sword!" Mark yelled. He raised the weapon out of the chest and waved it around. He looked at the words inscribed into the metal.

"Jeremiah Evans…" he murmured.

"Hey, come take a look at this," Lester called. Mark speed-walked over to the boy who was sitting at a table with a book open in front of him.

"I found this book of monsters on one of the shelves," Lester explained. Mark looked at the page. There were different black and white sketches of a monster on the pages and a heading with the word trolls. He read the page and his face turned white.

"That is sincerely terrifying," Mark whispered.

"I'd never want to meet one of those," Lester spoke quietly. They both chuckled but a foreboding feeling washed over them. Mark looked at his watch and his eyes opened wide.

"S***! We're going to be late for Individual Study!" Mark exclaimed. Lester placed the book in his bag and they scrambled for he door.

"Why do we have this now instead of at night?" Lester asked. Mark shrugged and grabbed the door handle. The world contorted then returned to normal and they found themselves in their dorm room. They blinked once then emptied out the contents of their stomachs onto the floor.

"Well that happened," a voice said. The two green boys turned right to see a much taller boy who resembled Mark.

"I'm the Independent Study partner for this dorm," he explained.

"Why call it Independent Study if it's four on one," Mark grinned.

"Exactly what I said," the fourth year smiled. "I'm your cousin, Richard Evans."

Lester and Mark's jaws dropped as they looked at Mark's apparent cousin. Mark regained his cool then began to laugh.

"Dick!" he chuckled. "Your name's f***ing Dick!"

Richard raised his wand and flicked it around before shooting a spell at Mark. Mark's legs began dancing and moving around uncontrollably.

"You didn't use a spell!" Mark yelled as he moonwalked around the room.

"Wordless casting b*tch!" he screamed in laughter. "Nobody calls me Dick."

Richard eventually canceled the spell and he helped Mark and Lester (mainly Mark) with DADA.

* * *

 **The Evans have a lot of secrets nobody knows about. Also anyone who reads this chapter should be able to guess who ' ' is. KOK.**


	11. More School

Chapter 11

Mark looked at his desk and questioned why he was alive. He could hear the voice of his History of Magic teacher droning on and on about useless wizard rubbish. He looked to the side and saw the Ravenclaws paying the utmost attention. He gave a quiet groan when he realized that the professor had started asking questions.

"Mr. Evans, who partook in the blah blah blabbidy blah blah," is what Mark heard. He continued facing the desk not realizing he had called his name. He felt Lester poke his back. Mark turned his head to the left to see Lester shaking his head forward. Mark turned to face his teacher but his ghostly face was right in front of his. He fell off his chair with a shout. He looked up at their ghost teacher and flashed a goofy smile.

"Four points off Gryffindor," he stated. The Gryffindors groaned.

* * *

Later that day, Mark, Lester and Harry walked into Greenhouse 1– the herbology classroom not the super secret room- and found the students talking and marveling at the wondrous plants that filled the room. He saw the Slytherin girl that Lester had forced him to talk to glaring at him with two other Slytherin girls at her sides with just as malicious glares. She walks up to him and he looks into her eyes.

"What?" he asked. Mark's face changed from its usual clueless look to that of a Japanese mobster's. The girl faltered for a second then regained her composure.

"I just wanted to tell you to mind your own business next time, or else," she threatened hoping to use her higher status to scare him.

"Can't believe I'm saying this. Or else **what**?" Mark asked. The girl was at a loss of words as a feeling of terror came over her. She felt her underwear begin to get wet, as she stood there fearful for her life.

"Moving along now," Lester spoke up noticing the girl's discomfort. He and Harry were able to move Mark out of the way and towards a seat.

"Why'd you move me?" Mark asked adopting his regular dumb face.

"That was Jasmine Belle," Harry explained. "Her family is in close relations with the Malfoys and she's even betrothed to Draco Malfoy's heir Scorpius."

"That means absolutely nothing to me," Mark replied bluntly.

"What did you even do to her?" Lester asked thinking of how scared she looked. Mark smiled and looked proud of himself.

"It's my version of the King Engine. I call it: the Mark Engine," Mark stated. "It's basically just me looking at you in a way that terrifies you. It usually only works on people with low self esteem or a fear of fire."

Lester wanted to ask him what a 'King Engine' was but their teacher had _finally_ entered the class. Immediately they saw his face the class erupted in claps and cheers. Standing before them was a hero of the Second Wizarding War, Neville Longbottom. He looked at them sheepishly then raised his hand to calm them down.

"As you may all know my name is Professor Longbottom," He began. Mark used all his self-control to hold in his laughter but as he'd made painfully clear, he had none.

"HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! YOU SAID 'LONGBOTTOM'! IS THAT WHY THEY WERE CLAPPING FOR YOU? HAHA! 'CAUSE YOUR BUTT'S SO LONG? HAHAHARDYHAHUR!" he screamed erupting in a fit of laughter. He fell off his chair. After a minute or so he calmed himself and sat back on his chair. Professor Longbottom looked taken aback.

"Um…sorry?" Mark said.

* * *

After losing a whopping 6 points from Gryffindor ,and finding out that Professor Longbottom is their head of house, they got to learning about the topic for the first few weeks of the term: spiky bushes. They were green plants with yellow spikes protruding out of them that they could fire at animals that wanted to consume them. Their first lesson had just been a basic introduction to the plant but they had learnt something else. The incantation for the fire-making spell, ' _Incendio_ '. Mark had been excited when he had learnt that they would be learning the spell. Professor Longbottom had shown it to them and it looked amazing. A bright flame had shot from the tip of the wand and onto one of the spiky bushes completely incinerating it. Sadly he hadn't taught them the wand movement for 'safety reasons'. Mark scoffed at that as he walked into his next class after DADA, Transfiguration. He had heard from Richard that it was a subject that his family excelled at, along with Charms and Potions. He sat down and for possibly the first time, the teacher was awake and waiting for them. They all took their seats before the plump woman stood up. She wore loose white and pink robes along with a tall witch's hat. She had a short bob of curly blonde hair that reached just above her shoulders. She brought out a long reddish wand and gave it a wave above her desk. There was a swishing sound as the desk turned into a pig then back into a desk immediately. That got their attention.

"What you just saw there was advanced transfiguration," she explained. "It's to complicated for you to do at this level. Good afternoon class, my name is Professor Elma Buckleton and I will guide you through the difficult and tasking subject that is transfiguration."

Mark honestly could not see what was so difficult about turning and desk into a pig but boy was he wrong. There was a formula he had to learn with letters that each meant something different. Halfway through the lesson he gave up and stopped paying attention as a whole. Professor Buckleton was not as boring as his HOM teacher but she did make jokes that weren't funny and just made you feel awkward. Mark definitely felt awkward when she made a joke about penis sizes. Just…no.

* * *

 **Well Neville's there...cool. Anyways, reviews. Oh and anything different from canon, this story is semi AU. KOK.**


	12. Duelling and Flying

Chapter 12

"Hey Richard," Mark spoke up as they walked down the stairs from the Gryffindor dorm. "Is dueling any fun?"

"Dueling is probably the most interesting part of being a wizard. Next to, you know, _magic._ " Richard replied with a sly grin. It was 6 in the evening and Mark, Lester, Miller, Richard and a handful of other Gryffindors were heading towards the dueling classroom. They went round a few corners before arriving in a spacious room that was slightly smaller than the Greenhouse. The room was separated into four equal squares. Mark could see some Slytherins and a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Mark looked at two Slytherins that had their wands pointed at each other. One sent a white light out of the tip, which the other blocked with a clear blue shield before waving his wand and blasting the wand out of the opponent's hand. Mark stared in awe at the displays of magic.

"And here I was thinking that all you wizards did was read books and dress stupid," Mark said. Lester rolled his eyes. The first years were placed in one of the boxes with Flitwick standing in front of them with a serious look on his face.

"Welcome, First Years, to dueling. For years, dueling was overlooked in Hogwarts before it was realized to be one of the most fundamental skills any wizard should have. The world is a dark, dark place and this club has been set up to help you prepare," Flitwick paused and took a breath. "I am sure that some of you are hoping to become Aurors in the future?" The students cheered and Mark just looked confused.

"When can we starting blasting each other?" He yelled out. Lester stepped on his foot.

"Yes, yes. I understand that some of you are eager to begin but how do you expect to duel without knowing any of the appropriate spells." Flitwick raised his wand. "Now, can anyone tell me the proper incantation for the 'knockback jinx'?"

Mark looked into Lester's eyes with an evil grin. Lester rolled his eyes.

"Oh don't be a p**sy," Mark groaned. "This is fun! We're about to duel. You should be happier."

"I'm happy I'm just not crazy like you," Lester replied. Mark stuck his tongue out.

"Let's just start," He grumbled. They bowed to each other and took three steps back.

"Flipendo!" Lester exclaimed. He waved his wand but before he could finish, he was blasted into the air and flipped backwards. Before he hit the ground though, he began to float. He felt himself fall then quickly stood up and turned to look at a smug Mark.

"It took you too long to do the wand movement," Mark laughed.

"I didn't even hear you speak!" Lester snapped angrily.

"I've always been a fast talker," Mark smiled.

"But that doesn't make any- GAAAAHH!" Lester exclaimed waving his hands around. Mark laughed hysterically. Miller walked over to Mark.

"You beat Lester?" Miller asked looking at the grumbling wizard. "That was fast."

"How about we go?" Mark asked. Miller nodded. They bowed and stepped back.

"Flip-" Miller spun into the air before slowing down and landing with a soft thud.

"I win," Mark smiled. Miller scrambled to his feet and glared at the redhead.

"Merlin! You didn't say a word," Miller exclaimed.

"Exactly!" Lester complained. "How did you do that?"

Mark shrugged.

* * *

Mark yawned and looked at the angry first years. He'd traversed through the large group of students fighting some of them but beating all the ones he fought. They obviously weren't happy with the fact that they'd been beaten in a matter of seconds. He turned from them and looked at the second year Flitwick had put him up against. They bowed and walked back three steps.

"Flipendo," Mark said so quickly his opponent couldn't hear him. A light quickly blasted out of the wand but before it hit the older student, a circular blue shield blocked it. Mark stared in surprise leaving his more skilled opponent with an opening.

" _Expelliarmus!_ " the second year exclaimed. Mark's wand flew out of his hand.

"I win. That wasn't even-" the second year was flung from her spot and into the air. She shook her head and looked at Mark.

"You didn't have your wand! How did you…" She snapped. Mark shrugged.

"I win," Mark said.

"Actually, Julie won since she did disarm you," Flitwick spoke. Mark groaned and walked to pick up his wand. Lester walked over to him with a smile on his face.

"You must be soo happy," Mark said.

"I am," Lester replied.

"Probably feeling like I deserved to lose right?"

"I am."

"After this you're gonna f**k yourself right?"

"I am. Waaaaaiiit…" Before Lester could do anything Mark had run off. Mark started laughing to himself when he saw Flitwick talking to a pair of first years. He walked over to the old half-goblin and tapped on his shoulder. He turned and looked at the redhead with a questioning look.

"Yes Mr. Evans. What can I help you with?" he asked.

"Well that sh***y second year beat me with this shield thing. What was it?" Mark said. Flitwick's ears perked up and he smiled.

"That was the effect of the spell _Protego_ ," Flitwick explained. "It creates a shield that defends from all magical attacks."

"How do you break one?" Mark continued.

"The more power you pour into a spell, the more likely it is to break the Protego," Flitwick said. "Or you could use a well placed _Finite._ "

"What the f**k is a Finite?" Flitwick shook his head.

"Why don't you come by my classroom tomorrow morning and I'll answer any questions you may have about dueling," Flitwick sighed. Mark grinned.

"Thanks Professor!" Mark exclaimed. Mark sped off towards Lester to punch him in the balls.

* * *

"Protego!" Mark exclaimed drawing his wand down. A large blue shield appeared in front of Mark.

"Good work Mark, you got it on your first try!" Flitwick said. Mark smiled but internally he was screaming at the half-goblin for making him sit through half an hour of him talking about the fundamentals of the spell. It was a fairly basic idea to Mark though. Wave a wand and say a spell. But apparently that wasn't everything.

"Now go for breakfast Mark. Tomorrow I will teach you the spell _Aguamenti_ ," Flitwick told him.

"Thank you Professor," Mark said before leaving the room. Mark honestly was confused as to why the professor was so keen on helping him but he wasn't really worried about that. As he was thinking, Mark bumped into someone knocking them down. He looked down and his eyes fell onto Jasmine Belle.

"GAAAAAHH!" Mark groaned. He walked past her and towards the Great Hall. Mark felt a tap on the shoulder. He sighed then turned around. He moved his hand up and grabbed Jasmine's arm as she raised it to slap him.

"Seriously? A slap? I honestly feel like that was uncalled for," Mark spoke. Jasmine seethed in anger.

"Let go of me you…mudblood," Jasmine spat. Mark looked at her nonchalantly.

"My blood isn't made of mud you idiot," Mark said. "Man, you wizards seriously don't know how to insult people. Or know what blood is made of."

"You don't even know what a mudblood is do you?" Jasmine said.

"It's a terrible insult that's what it is," Mark grinned. "Well I'm hungry. Smell ya later!"

"That was terrible English," Jasmine said.

"It was a Pokémon reference! Actually you know what, I'm really hungry so could you leave me the f**k alone!?" Mark growled.

"I challenge you to a duel!" Jasmine called.

"Sure whatever! I'm going to eat," Mark yelled. The moment he sat down though he realised what he had done causing him to yell at the ceiling.

* * *

The next morning, Mark and Lester walked out of the school to where a grey haired woman was standing waiting for the remaining Gryffindors to arrive at class. Twenty or so old looking brooms were lined up side by side in two different rows. The other students were standing behind them looking excited. Mark walked towards one of the brooms and stood behind it like the others. The last remaining students arrived and the lesson started.

"Good morning class. I am Madam Hooch the Quidditch Referee and Flying Instructor of Hogwarts," the grey haired woman spoke.

"What's Quidditch?" Mark asked.

"That's not important for todays lesson," Madam Hooch replied. "Today for your first flying lesson you will be learning how to call up your broom, kick off and stop. Now…"

Madam hooch explained and demonstrated all three of these actions before telling the students to call their own brooms up.

"Up," Mark said. His broom shot into his hand. Mark looked to his right and saw his classmates struggling to get their brooms into their hands.

"Well done," Madam Hooch said to Mark. Mark grinned. Once all the students had gotten their brooms into their hands, they mounted them.

"Now students, just push off from the ground and the broom will do the rest," Madam Hooch instructed. Most of the students successfully started floating but some, mainly the muggle-born, had difficulty staying in the air. Once they were all floating properly Madam Hooch told them to follow her. They moved around in a circle following behind the grey haired professor. Mark groaned internally as he followed the professor's repeated motions. He looked up into the sky and smirked.

"No," Lester said.

"What?" Mark replied.

"Whatever you were thinking of, no," Lester said. Mark smirked even more.

"See yah," Mark grinned.

"Mark!" Lester exclaimed as Mark shot off into the sky. He maneuvered through the air feeling the wind blowing against his face. He did a loop-de-loop before his broom abruptly stopped, surprising him. Mark felt his grip loosen and he began to fall.

* * *

 **KOK.**


	13. Drama Queens and Lack of Exercise

Chapter 13

Mark fell and looked at the broom that was still floating above him. 'If saying up causes the broom to come up,' he thought. 'Then saying down should-'. He thrust his arm towards the broom.

" **Down**!" he commanded. The broom shot down and slammed into Mark's hand. Mark twisted himself around so that he was sitting on the broom. The broom continued its descent and before it hit the grass, Mark pulled it up changing its direction towards the sky. As he shot up, he spun around then flew around the entirety of the castle. He slowed the broom down the maneuvered his body so that he was standing. Spreading his arms out to keep his balance, he slowly lowered the broom and landed next to Lester.

"Wha-? Bu…How? Y-you just… zoom a-and fall a-" Lester stammered looking at Mark and the sky. "You know what, I don't care."

"Mister Evans!" a voice exclaimed. Mark turned to the right and looked up at Madam Hooch. He grinned and scratched the back of his head. The old lady sighed.

"Well, I suppose nothing really bad happened. But I'm still taking two points of Gryffindor," Madam Hooch said. The Gryffindors sighed.

* * *

Mark and Miller walked into Dueling that night. Lester walked up to them punched Mark in the chest. He shook his hand in pain.

"I thought you learned your lesson about punching my chest this morning," Mark laughed. "I've got abs of steel."

Mark pulled up his shirt to showcase his chest. Lester looked at it for a second before speaking up.

"Well you're fit, but you don't have abs," Lester explained. Mark pulled his shirt up more before looking down. He began trembling and his face became as red as his hair.

" **YOUR F***ING GO*DAMN SH***Y WIZARD FOOD HAS F***ING MADE ME LOSE MY GO*DAMN GLORIOUS SIX PACK YOU PILES OF SH***Y ********************-"** Mark screamed.

"I didn't even know that you could use swear words like that," Miller said looking at the red Mark jumping up and down.

"Why do I hear a beeping noise when his mouth moves?" Lester asked.

After mark calmed down, Jasmine and her group walked towards him.

"Are you forgetting something _mudblood_?" Jasmine asked Mark. Mark looked at Lester with a questioning look.

"Mudblood is a derogatory term used as an insult by mainly pureblooded wizards to demean wizards born from muggle families who are known as muggle-born," Lester explained.

"Uh Doy! Mah name's Lyester and I'm a walking dic*tionary!" Miller said making Mark laugh.

"Mudblood!" Jasmine snapped.

"Miller, that was a perfect impression of Lester," Mark said.

"No it wasn't!" The curly haired wizard growled.

"I try," Miller said with a smug grin.

"Mudblood!" Jasmine exclaimed.

"Hey Miller do you know who drama queen over here is talking to?" Mark asked ignoring Jasmine.

"I don't know any one called 'Mudblood'," Miller replied with a shrug.

"What about you Lester?" Mark continued.

"That sounded nothing like me," Lester mumbled.

"Let's go, Professor Flitwick's just arrived," Miller said. Jasmine, who was practically shooting steam from her ears, raised her hand and swung it at Mark's cheek but just as she was about to touch him, her hand was abruptly stopped. He stopped laughing and turned his head to look at her then tilted it sideways. His eyes were practically glowing.

"If you want to say something, say it," he said. He let go of her trembling hand then Lester smacked him upside the back of his head.

"Stop doing that!" Lester commanded.

"Jeez, fine," Mark, agreed. "Okay _Drama Queen_ , Flitwick's here to referee that duel you challenged me to yesterday. Are you ready or do you want to back down?"

Jasmine looked at mark then narrowed her eyes. She glared at him and turned around and began walking towards the Charms Professor.

"Time to put you in your place…Mark," Jasmine said. Mark punched his right fist into his left palm and smirked.

"You're going down Drama Queen," Mark muttered.

Mark and Jasmine bowed at each other then turned and walked away. They waited for Flitwick to give the signal to begin. Jasmine, knowing how quickly Mark could cast spells, began waving her wand in the proper movement for her first spell. Mark however, was thinking of Breakfast the next day.

"Begin!" Flitwick exclaimed. Jasmine spun around and completed the spell before Mark noticed the Duel had begun.

"Stupefy!" she yelled out. The spell fired at Mark who had just turned around.

"Protego!" Mark snapped drawing his wand down. A blue shield appeared in front of him, blocking the spell. Sadly, Mark was not used to the spell so it cracked on impact.

"Flipendo!" Jasmine shouted firing of another blast. This one shattered the shield. Mark rolled out of the way before quickly waving his wand.

"Aguamenti!" Water spewed from the tip of his wand. Jasmine formed a Protego that blocked the attack. She cancelled the spell then spun to the side as Mark had fired a Stupefy. She waved her wand and Mark was hit with a Flipendo. He flipped into the air but was able to land somewhat gracefully at the edge of the platform they were battling on. Mark breathed a sigh of relief.

" _Bombarda_!" Jasmine screeched. A small explosion at his feet blew him into the air. He landed on the platform with a thud. The other students fell silent. Mark slowly pulled himself up then grinned.

"Merlin that's a lot of blood!" Harry gasped. Mark shook his head.

"Hey Jasmine!" Mark called.

"Give up Mudblood!" She replied.

"Why don't you-" he thought for a second"- _have a drink_? **Aguamenti**!"

"Protego," Jasmine countered. The water splashed harmlessly on the shield. Jasmine fired another Bombarda but Mark was able to see the direction the wand was pointed before rolling away causing the spell to miss and explode harmlessly on the heavily charmed walls. He then waved his wand and spoke the incantation: " _Avis_!" Small red birds spurted out of the tip of his wand. They flew around Jasmine, surrounding before they all disappeared in a puff of smoke. The moment that had happened though, there was a flash of light and her wand was flung from her hand and onto the floor. She stared wide eyed at the mudblood her mouth slightly open.

"Mark Evans is the winner of this duel!" Flitwick announced. "Now somebody get him to the hospital wing."

* * *

 **KOK. Also that's gonna be the last chapter for a while.**


	14. Vampires and Fireballs

Chapter 14

"Mark, I've said this before and I'll say it again: if anyone finds out you did this, you're screwed," Lester groaned. It was the night of Halloween; a night Mark usually spent trick or treating but now was doing that except without treats.

"Oh come on Lester, it's Halloween. The holiday's _all_ about pranks," Mark countered as he finished setting the toilets to shoot paint when flushed.

"Now come on, one more bathroom and we can go back to dinner," Mark smiled as he left the bathroom. They scurried down multiple flights of stairs and reached the ground floor bathroom. Mark creaked open the door and began fiddling with the nozzle of the tap.

"Hey Mark," Lester murmured turning to face the toilet stalls.

"Yeah?" Mark replied.

"What's that sound?" Lester continued. Mark stopped what he was doing and listened.

"It's sort of like a slurping sound," Mark stated. "I think it's coming from the last stall."

The two boys stepped carefully towards the last toilet. Lester grabbed hold of his wand and Mark clenched his fists. They in front of the closed door and Mark pulled it open. Inside was a pale creature with long ears and a grimy face. They wore rags and had claws on their fingers and toes. The creature was busy stuffing its face into the neck of a boy in Hogwarts uniform. He was a Hufflepuff since Mark could make out hints of yellow though his uniform was covered in blood. The boy was unconscious and the creature seemed to not have noticed them.

"It's a fricking VAMPIRE!" Mark yelled. The creature looked up with glowing red eyes.

"Move!" Lester snapped as the vampire lunged at them. They leaped to the side as the vampire rammed into the wall. The two Gryffindors stood up quickly and readied their wands. Mark had an idea.

"Lester, into the stall! Now!" Mark exclaimed. Lester looked at him then jumped into the toilet stall. The vampire looked at Mark and bared its fangs with a growl. Mark turned and looked at the door then realized his original plan wouldn't work.

"Stupefy!" Mark casted. His wand produced a white light that shot out towards the vampire. It shrugged the spell off then the three others as he stalked towards the 12 year old.

"Open the door now!" He yelled. Lester pushed open the door of his stall and it hit the vampire in the face sending it back a few paces. Lester ran out of the stall and next to Mark.

"That was your plan?" Lester growled.

"You should be happy that I didn't go through with my original plan which was to run away leaving you with the vampire!" Mark replied.

"How on Earth did you get into Gryffindor!?"

The vampire growled and pushed the stall door out of his way.

"You just made him even angrier," Mark said.

"It was _your_ stupid plan," Lester replied.

"Wait, get behind me!" Mark exclaimed. Lester stepped behind him thinking that it would at least increase his time to live when his plan inevitably fails. Mark dropped his wand then held out his hands as if he were shooting an energy blast.

" _Incendio!_ " a stream of orange fire blasted from his palms, engulfing the vampire completely. It screamed as the fire reduced his body to ash. The smell of smoke filled the air as the fire disappeared.

"Dang," Lester said. "How'd you know that would work?"

"Well vampires usually if not always are extremely vulnerable to fire. It's a good thing that that was the same and not the super speed, super strength and compulsion abilities the vampires in teen dramas usually have," Mark explained.

"You know I didn't understand half of what you said right?" Lester sighed.

"Man, you wizards need television," Mark groaned. Then he remembered something important.

"Oh friiiiiiiick! The Hufflepuff guy! Go get a teacher or something!"

Mark ran towards the stall the boy had been in then nearly threw up at the smell of the blood. He carried the Hufflepuff up with ease then took him out of the bathroom bridal style. Then he thought of another way. He cast a Wingardium Leviosa on the boy the pulled him while he was levitating towards the great hall. Lester, McGonagall and a large group of other students all were rushing towards him.

"Evening headmistress. This guy was being sucked dry by a vampire in the bathroom," Mark told the intimidating old lady. She didn't care about his obviously made up story and instead focused her attention towards the student that was bleeding profusely from the neck. She called for medical attention and the child was taken away to the Hospital Wing. She then turned her attention to Mark and Lester.

"You two, follow me," she snapped. The two boys followed the old witch up multiple staircases and took them to her office. Once there, Mark looked around the room in awe before being snapped out of his trance by the headmistress clearing her throat loudly.

"Now Misters…?"

"Oh! Cronley and Evans," Lester said. The old woman's ears perked at the mention of Mark's last name.

"So, Misters Cronley and Evans, what exactly happened?" she asked. Mark then proceeded to explain in excruciating detail about the events of the previous three or so minutes (of course leaving out the part about him rigging the sinks) with hand motions and sound effects. Lester nearly wet himself in silent laughter. Once Mark had concluded his short tale, the headmistress looked as if she didn't believe a word of it.

"Really Mr. Evans? Vampires? I understand that you were brought up in the muggle world but vampires are mostly civil creatures that stick to the eastern parts of Europe," she explained.

"That was a very unsure and easily proven wrong statement," Lester mumbled.

"Pardon Mister Cronley?" McGonagall asked with a cold glare. Lester gulped.

"Nothing," he replied.

"Now boys, you two were the only ones who witnessed what happened to the child so if you would please just tell me what really happened?"

"It was a vampire!" Mark exclaimed.

"Do you have any proof to back that up?" she asked.

"I burnt all the proof!''

"Exactly. Mister Evans I assure you that if there were 'dangerous vampires' on the school premises, I would know about it immediately."

Mark was about to continue arguing but shut up and growled.

"So, if this is all you have to say about the situation, I will be looking into myself to learn the truth that you are withholding from me. And before you try to defend yourself, you should know that you are very lucky that I'm not punishing you. You may take your leave."

As the two boys trekked towards the Gryffindor dorms, Mark grumbled about the unfairness of adults.

* * *

The next day, Mark was regaling the class with his tale of how he bravely defeated the vampire. When he finished they all laughed and called him stupid which riled him up incredibly. Mark sat in the back of his charms class with Lester and Harry. Harry was mimicking Mark's story and laughing.

"I swear on your dong it was a vampire!" Mark exclaimed. Harry opened his eyes wide and felt his trousers then his face became alarmed.

"M-my penis! It's gone!" he yelped before breaking down in laughter at Mark's infuriated face. Mark simply punched him in the gut so hard he flew off his chair and began to dry retch on the floor. Mark smiled. Harry cried.

"I think you killed him," Lester remarked. Mark shrugged.

"If I didn't someone else would have," he said. Harry curled into a ball writhing in pain. Later that day, after school ended, Mark and Lester snuck to the greenhouse and were about to open the door and heard footsteps behind them.

"So this is where you guys are always sneaking off to?" Miller asked. They both slowly turned around to face a smirking Miller and pale Harry.

"Whaaaat? We just made a wrong turn. We've never been here before," Lester said shakily making Mark roll his eyes at his failed attempt to lie.

"Lester, you family's motto is 'we never make wrong turns'," Miller sighed. Mark snickered.

"Not all families have awesome mottos!" Lester snapped.

"Yeah, but only yours has one that dumb," Mark laughed.

"If you knew the history behind it you wouldn't be-"

"Let me guess, great-grand pappy Cronley got out of a maze and decided that he should make a family motto about that," Mark said. Lester blinked twice then lowered his head.

"Well it wasn't my _great_ -grandfather…" he grumbled.

"Wait that's the actual story?!" Mark stated in disbelief before he fell down in laughter. By now they'd forgotten that Miller and Harry were standing there.

"You don't even know if your family motto is better than mine," Lester argued.

"It's probably somewhere in the Greenhouse. I'll check," Mark stated. He turned around and grasped the doorknob as Lester remembered who was there.

"Wait, Mark-" the door swung open revealing the Greenhouse in all its amazing glory.

"Holy Merlin," Miller gasped as he walked into the large room. Harry walked in after him with his mouth wide open.

"What is this place?" Miller asked as he stared at a suit of armor.

"It's a-um…it's a dream!" Mark replied. Lester hit him upside the head.

"Look who's bad at lying now," he grumbled. Then to Miller he said, "It's a sort of magical room created by one of Mark's ancestors."

"Only someone like Merlin or like Dumbledore could do this," Harry said while swinging one of the spears around.

"Hah if Mark was related to either of them he would at least have the basic intelligence of a three year old," Miller snorted.

"Hey! I'm smart," Mark growled.

"Yeah but not when it comes to school," Harry commented. "Hey what's this?"

Mark, Lester and Miller walked over to see what Harry was looking at.

"It's a handle," Lester stated.

"No sh*t Sherlock," Mark said. In the floor was a dull bronze handle with what looked like Celtic runes.

"How did we not notice that before?" Mark wondered.

"Oh, it was under a pile of books. Might I add there are a lot of books on the floor," Harry remarked. Miller bent down and grasped the handle. He pulled it but it wouldn't budge.

"Miller, most of the stuff here only responds to Mark so maybe he should try and pull it," Lester explained. Miller stood up as Mark bent down. He grabbed the handle and the rues began to glow purple. He then pulled and a part of the floor opened like a hatch. There were stairs leading down into a dark chamber.

"After you," Mark said.

"How kind of you," Lester said sarcastically. They all climbed down the short flight of stairs and into the dark chamber below.

"It's pretty dark," Mark said. Suddenly floating blue lights appeared illuminating the room. They saw that they were indeed in a chamber but also that there were numerous wooden doors around the circular room. They all looked the same except for two that were made of a much darker wood. Harry pushed one of the doors open.

"Hey, this leads into a tunnel," he stated.

"Cool!" Mark replied as he began to walk through it.

"Mark, you don't go walking through dark tunnels," Lester called. Mark stopped, turned around and blinked.

"Why?" he asked. "I'm pretty much able to do all spells without the need of a wooden stick as you saw yourself. Nothing down here could possibly hurt me."

"Mark, you do know that there are monsters that are the size of trains and can move so fast they're just a blur. And most of the more dangerous creatures live in dark areas. There was also a massive snake that turns you to stone with a look that used to live under Hogwarts and an entire forest full of deadly bloodthirsty creatures is right next it."

"Remind me again why people send their children to this school?" Mark stated. "Also byeeeeee!"

Mark ran down the tunnel with Harry and Miller behind him. Lester groaned then pulled a piece of parchment out of his bag and began to rip it into little pieces, which he dropped on the floor behind him as he walked.

Mark had slowed down into a walk so that Miller and Harry could catch up.

"I can't see a thing!" Miller exclaimed quietly. "Do you think you could make one of those blue things here?"

"I didn't make them. They sort of just manifested," A blue light appeared above them. "Yeah, like that."

The light floated above them, as they moved forward not going in any particular direction.

"Have you seen Obadiah? He said he was going to get a deer last night but he didn't come back," a deep, raspy voice said. The blue light disappeared and the group of boys stopped breathing.

"Eh, probably just got killed by a werewolf or something," another voice, replied. Mark could hear them moving right in front of them. It took all his willpower not to jump up and say something stupid. He wasn't sure what exactly was in front of them and if it were too much for him to handle, then he would be screwed.

"You know, I think I hear footsteps," one of the voices murmured. 'Nononononononono-"Hey Mark! Are you down here?" "-Frick it!"

The blue light reappeared and the three of them stood up. They saw two people dressed in long, torn cloaks with the hoods over their heads. From the shadow of the hood Mark could see glowing red eyes.

"Incendio!" He exclaimed aiming his palm at the vampires. Orange embers erupted from his hand burning a hole through one of the vampires. The other had started running in the direction of Lester. Mark ran after the monster. He pulled out his wand and fired an Aguamenti at the creature but it dodged. It stopped, turned and leapt at Mark in one fluid motion. Mark used his momentum to roll under the vampire's attack. It landed and snarled, fangs bared as Mark struggled to stand up. The vampire ran towards him and threw a punch to his face. Mark dodged the attack but in the dim light was unable to prevent being hit by a follow up. The force of the blow threw him back and onto the hard, stone ground. The vampire walked in close and bared its fangs. As it came down to suck on Mark's blood, Mark pulled his wand from its holster and jammed it in the area one would expect the heart to be. The vampire howled in pain and staggered backwards. When it didn't die immediately, Mark fired an Incendio and burnt it to ash. He panted and winced, holding his stomach in pain. Miller and Harry appeared in the area the floating blue light reached.

"Mate, you messed those _bastards_ up!" Miller stated with a grin. Mark smirked.

"What were those things anyways?" Harry asked.

"We're assuming vampires," Lester stated. "Thanks for leaving me _friends_."

"Thanks for telling the vampires you were down here _smart*ss_." Mark replied with a growl. The tension in the tunnel grew as Mark and Lester glared at each other. They then broke out in laughter.

"Alright then, Let's go," Lester sighed. "I left a paper trail back to the Greenhouse. Harry, since you're the closest to the ground, you can pick them up."

"Ha-ha. Very funny you little bugger," Harry snapped at the insult of his short demeanor. They made their way back to the Greenhouse, and once they got there Mark placed one of the rooms many chests on top of the hatch. His friends looked at him.

"What? If there are any more I don't want them to be able to get in here." He explained.


End file.
